Change
"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly..."
- Richard Bach, Illusions
It couldn't have come at a better time. It came at Mass today. I finally followed my plan of taking advantage of the sole free lecture in the week and attending Mass at 11. 25, Fridays. As i waited in Chaps trying to contemplate the turmoil happening inside, Father Arun walked in, and automatically i smiled a thankful smile that he was going to be the presiding minister for this one. I have missed Fra (Fr. A) and his beautiful FC lectures...discussions...from last year. They made me really really THINK...and think is what i have to do now. NOT ruminate. Process. Fra was the one person whose presence i needed most to be in. And he was there.
I watched this man as he laid down his ubiquitous jhola and promptly donned his cassock over his Lee Cooper jeans. There were about 10 other people there by this time. Then Fra looked up from his preparation and called me forward to come and read from the pulpit. Taken aback, i nevertheless jumped at the opportunity. I didn't even know a non-catholic was allowed to do this. Then again, this was Fra :). And Fra can be trusted to do something like this even as some MLAs in Hyderabad assault a woman writer for saying things not palatable to the faith they share. "But teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero; that for every selfish Politician, there is a dedicated leader...Teach him for every enemy there is a friend..."
The passage i had to read was about abundance...that it is our work to sow well, and we shall reap well...and to give what we reap and then we shall reap more. And even that much opens up a constriction, because so often we are afraid, afraid of giving it all up, afraid that we shall be left with nothing, and we resist, we resist a changing order that is bound to keep changing by not allowing ourselves to grow with it, by staying stuck, by refusing to budge, and all because we are afraid. But that fear can go to hell if only we have faith in abundance. In our abundant capacity to grow, in our abundant ability to cope with the process, and in the abundance in a world where a giving doesn't imply a lessening of resource. Or ideas. Or love.
And then Fra went on with that line by Richard Bach that epitomises change - "What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly..." How did he know that the caterpillar was in Mass today? And then he went on to talk about something else where he spoke about how challenges will come and judgment calls will have to be made and how it is so easy, even in our mundane lives to do the simpler thing, to think the easier thought , to stop being mindful, to stop having faith. Fra spoke about simple things. And then, when he offered Communion, for the first time in my life, i actually decided to get up and get some. I still don't know whether it is allowed, but i was given it nevertheless. And that showed me that it was okay. That it's okay.
And today, when the world i have known and loved in for 20 years is changing more rapidly than i can handle, when it almost feels like things that i held so dear and so constant are now crumbling, i met a thousand Fra's who came bearing the same message - in Chaps, on the calendar quote, in my email...
I haven't seen it in full yet and i will give myself the time and the space to. But i see the signs still pouring in. Perhaps it is time to raise the bar for beautiful. Perhaps it it time for the butterfly to emerge.
- Richard Bach, Illusions
It couldn't have come at a better time. It came at Mass today. I finally followed my plan of taking advantage of the sole free lecture in the week and attending Mass at 11. 25, Fridays. As i waited in Chaps trying to contemplate the turmoil happening inside, Father Arun walked in, and automatically i smiled a thankful smile that he was going to be the presiding minister for this one. I have missed Fra (Fr. A) and his beautiful FC lectures...discussions...from last year. They made me really really THINK...and think is what i have to do now. NOT ruminate. Process. Fra was the one person whose presence i needed most to be in. And he was there.
I watched this man as he laid down his ubiquitous jhola and promptly donned his cassock over his Lee Cooper jeans. There were about 10 other people there by this time. Then Fra looked up from his preparation and called me forward to come and read from the pulpit. Taken aback, i nevertheless jumped at the opportunity. I didn't even know a non-catholic was allowed to do this. Then again, this was Fra :). And Fra can be trusted to do something like this even as some MLAs in Hyderabad assault a woman writer for saying things not palatable to the faith they share. "But teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero; that for every selfish Politician, there is a dedicated leader...Teach him for every enemy there is a friend..."
The passage i had to read was about abundance...that it is our work to sow well, and we shall reap well...and to give what we reap and then we shall reap more. And even that much opens up a constriction, because so often we are afraid, afraid of giving it all up, afraid that we shall be left with nothing, and we resist, we resist a changing order that is bound to keep changing by not allowing ourselves to grow with it, by staying stuck, by refusing to budge, and all because we are afraid. But that fear can go to hell if only we have faith in abundance. In our abundant capacity to grow, in our abundant ability to cope with the process, and in the abundance in a world where a giving doesn't imply a lessening of resource. Or ideas. Or love.
And then Fra went on with that line by Richard Bach that epitomises change - "What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly..." How did he know that the caterpillar was in Mass today? And then he went on to talk about something else where he spoke about how challenges will come and judgment calls will have to be made and how it is so easy, even in our mundane lives to do the simpler thing, to think the easier thought , to stop being mindful, to stop having faith. Fra spoke about simple things. And then, when he offered Communion, for the first time in my life, i actually decided to get up and get some. I still don't know whether it is allowed, but i was given it nevertheless. And that showed me that it was okay. That it's okay.
And today, when the world i have known and loved in for 20 years is changing more rapidly than i can handle, when it almost feels like things that i held so dear and so constant are now crumbling, i met a thousand Fra's who came bearing the same message - in Chaps, on the calendar quote, in my email...
I haven't seen it in full yet and i will give myself the time and the space to. But i see the signs still pouring in. Perhaps it is time to raise the bar for beautiful. Perhaps it it time for the butterfly to emerge.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home