Sometimes i wonder just how useful a Rational Thought Devise built into my brain would be. Today is one of those days. I can see so clearly now that the quality of my thoughts determines the quality of my feelings. One day i could be all blissed out thinking life is a breeze, it's all cool, whatever comes my way, i'll totally handle it. The next day, i'll be thinking, really now? sure you're so cool with things as they are? remember how you fell apart at such and such a time when such and such a thing happened? remember how long it took to bounce back? you really want to risk it again? and so on.

So i sometimes wish there was this mechanism in my head that unceasingly performs the following functions:

1. Lets me enjoy the good stuff: "you're really blessed you know! this awesome thing happening to you at this moment might go away later, but who cares? we'll handle it then. don't let the fear of suffering dilute this joy right now. immerse yourself in it! knock yourself out!'' (Situation-appropriate happy song).

2. Warns me at all the right times and never unnecessarily: "watch out. you're perilously close to falling in love again! this is the point of no return. stop! think. do you want to risk your peace of mind for this? is it worth it? is he worth it? think about all that you dislike about him. DON'T FOCUS ONLY ON THE NICE PARTS!" and so on. accompanied by bright neon warning lights flashing madly and preferably an aversive tactile stimulus like a mild electric shock, just to drive home the point.

3. Plays comforter, de-catastrophiser, hope-inducer when point number 2 is disregarded and the worst happens: Ok. so we expected better. "we feel bad now. we feel like tearing our hair out. what can we DO now? we can do this, or this, or this (comprehensive list of viable options). cry. scream. get it out of your system. it's ok! it will pass. it will. we know that. it has passed in the past and it will now. there is no point feeling worse about it. let's thrash it out right now, go over everything that needs to get out of the system, and then let's let it go. let's make room for peace again. it's not the end of the world unless we want it to be." (Automatic hugs, slides of serene woods and peaceful rivers flash into mind.)

Yes. How cool it would be to have this on autopilot! exact shade of what i want to hear at every point. no interference from other silly counter-thoughts. no second guessing. and most importantly, knowing exactly what i am feeling and why.