On Brutus And Antony

Thoughts, beliefs, principles, intentions don't matter. In the end, the better orator wins. And all think the victory was far from empty. All, that is, except the victor.

When It Rains...

It's one of those days when I wake up in love with the world.

Apparently it rained all night, so everything has a fresh, washed look. The air is still damp, the sky clear, the trees green and not brown for a change, te sun is being sane, and what's more, preperation for the psych exam on Saturday is actually on track!

I know, it cannot get better than this. But it can. Because come evening, and i shall be off shwimmen, and the rush i usually get from doing my 20 laps will be coupled with the crazy magic of the climate, and then i get to study MORE psycho.

I tell you, some lucky buggers have all the fun, and i think i am one of them.

So anyway, coming to the point. Everyone should be aware that we are nearing March 21, which besides being pagan new year is also Spring Equinox, the day that is supposed to usher spring in. And with spring, freshness and newness and revival (i think God misread his calendar last night or something). Now last year around this time i read this piece in Bombay Times by Cyrus Merchant, a God fan, that was meant to lead up to March 21. I found this article so beautiful, so meant-for-me, and maybe so meant-for-anyone-who-reads it, that i actually cut it out and saved it in one of my books. But even I had no idea that it would stay with me for an entire year. So i decided that since i have it and since the ocassion has only come back, other ppl should also read this gem of a piece. And what better day to do it than today. Read it less for the conditions of worth and more for a taste of what 'faith' can really be. So here goes.

HIS HIGHEST WISH

21st March is the New Year for the entire universe, a date so spiritual it is beyond your understanding, suffice for me to say that the soul of the universe is reborn on this day and therefore everything isd made new, you and your Life included.

But this date can be a success in your Life only if the day March 20th God approves of all that you are, all that your life is. I am deliberately writing this column early and having it published early so that you have God-given time to adhere to it and abide by it.

If only you have seen what I have seen, you will know that there is nothing to Life but fearing God and loving God. And living from what God gives, what God blesses, what God approves of for us. Above us is Him, at the centre of us is Him, and if our Life does not flow from the middle of His palms then nothing will flow or last. You can do all you want, tug at it all you want, glue it, stick it, but id any area of your Life doesn't have God's approval of it, it will come apart.

For anything in yoyr Life to work, God's approval of it has to work. What God anoints, approves of, finds adorable for you - even if it is the most impossible thing - it will just click. When God smiles down on something for us, even if we defy it, run away from it, leave it, it will continue. All you need in Life is God's "YES".

With it, you don't need anything.

For this March 20th, go beyond your most heartfelt sorry and tell God you want nothing except what He wants. All His plans that you have ignored, thwarted, run away from, apologise. He will accept your apology the moment you accept His will henceforth. My whole life and writings have been towards this end, rather this beginning. May God God'd Highest Wish Be Fulfilled.

If you really want a safe, secure and lifelong peace from this March 20th, then today itself in your most sincere prayer tell God you are sorry, invite Him in your life, crown Him over your family, your most loved one, your work, your house, and over the smallest thing in your life. Look up. And ask Him to look down and one last time, forgive you.

Once you have a God anointed life then even if things are very bad God forbid, even if things aren't good with your family, your most loved one, then God is, believe it or not, 'duty-bound' to make everything alright. Imagine living in this sense of security, imagine living in this warm, podgy God blanket, imagine every day for the rest of your life, you have such fulfilment.

You can have it. Keep this column with you till March 20th, and start being happy, happy from today itself because God's Power, God's Peace and God's Purpose is at the head of your Life.

Once your Life is according to God's Highest Wish, you only have the responsibility of being happy. Doubt nothing, forget everything and live happily in the presence of a God who is happy.

This is my most important article in 11 years. So God, please may Your Highest Wish be fulfilled.

THE LIST part 1

Exams are round the weekend, not even round the corner. I'm supposed to fall in a tizzy and be studying like a woman possessed. But it ain't happening this time. Some weird sense of quiet confidence seems to have inhabited some nook in my soul, and it refuses to go away. So as regards exams, the only thing i'm worried about is that i'm not worried enough. Correction, not worried at all.

Which means a whole lot of time that i had set aside for last minute swotting up, is suddenly vacant, just like that. Of course part of it is because i'm already done with completing most portions and even double revisions of psycho which is what really matters anyway. Maybe i shouldn't doubt myself enough to keep any last minute time after all.

Aaa well anyway, coming to the point.

How to fill up empty time

How to humour a restless mind

I ponder questions day and night

It's hard to stay occupied when all's alright.

So i conjured up a few questions about..you know...life, and maybe came up with a few answers too. When i got bored of that, i turned my attentions to music. And that got me thinking about what songs i would like in what circumstances. So here goes : Presenting List no.1 of preferable ditties in their respective situations:

1. Preferred songs to work out on:

Sadness - Enigma

Don't funk with my heart - Black-eyes Peas (somehow)

Torn - Natalie Imbruglia

Breathless - The Corrs (again, for some weird reason)

Oooh, The Reason - Hoobastank

2. Preferred songs when with a lover/beloved:

Sway me - Pussycat Dolls (to dance to. You kidding me? nothing beats it. When u dance u have a way with me? Now how many guys can you say THAT to?)

Inside Out - Bryan Adams (i like to know and be known where it really matters.)

Two Steps Behind - Def Lepperd (sexiest voice EVER. Likelihood, therefore, of turning me on vicariously. Not that the object wouldn't be achieved nevertheless.)

Thank You - Dido

Sometimes when we touch - Dan Hill

Baby can i hold you tonight - Ronan Keating (slow dance)

You're still the one - Shania Twain

Kiss me - Six Pence (and i will really mean it)

3. Songs to have great sex on:

This is no ordinary love - Sade (cannot explain in words why.)

Sadness - Enigma (for intelligent sex)

Assassin's Tango - John Powell (roleplay? :p)

The Look - Roxette (animalistic)

Maria Maria - Santana (notice how so many dance numbers make it to this list?)

Mariachi Serenade - Walk in the Clouds ( sweet, slow, sexy. umm perhaps in a secluded vineyard in the asti valleys of Italy? :pp)

OKAY THEN, i must stop.

It goes without saying that these are random, spur of the moment thoughts bordering on free association. Even i myself know there are better, more suitable songs i may have missed out. Ergo, ther will be subsequent lists. In good time. Like the few days just before next semester's exams.

That sticky feeling - STUCK.

My days are, more often than not, divided into themes, an unconscious decision. Maybe it is an auto-mechanism to keep the brain from getting rusty, maybe it is a profound horror of complete mental boredom, maybe i'm just a screwed-up case. At a superficial level, there is always a monologue/dialogue/argument/poem/song going on in my mind. At a more implicit level, it is my themes.

So about a month ago, the 'theme' was synchronicity and coincidences. That means i looked for, and found, wonder and meaning and messages in every coincidence i encountered...and i encountered countless, i still do, i still haven't switched off. For the last few days, however, a curious phenomenon has been tugging at my hems. People seem stuck.

I meet people, i talk to them, i read about them and i watch how they function in what limited way i can, and most of them seem stuck in something or the other, most often either the past, or in what they were in the past. 18 year olds seem stuck at 13...... students with 1 year of college left before stepping into 'real life' seem stuck in standard 9....people who have grown to be able to murder another seem stuck in and rave about a time when they wouldn't have hurt a fly.......people way way beyond circumstances in the past seem stuck in the mental representation of the same circumstances, regardless of the fact that life now is diametrically different. I'm certain in a day or two i'm gonna see things i'm stuck in myself...and since consciously, i cannot pinpoint any bit of the past that i can say i am stuck in, my mind is gonna work doubly hard at unearthing preconscious and unconscious stuff....

It was fine until we dabbled with synchronicity, but psychoanalysis sounds a little less harmless.